look past them。 What was behind them? What was
he thinking? Was he really sorry? Or was he just feeling bad about the things hed said?
It was like looking into the sun; though; and I had to turn away。
I couldnt tell you what we talked about after that; except that he was nice to me and he made
me laugh。 And after he left; I shut off the water and
went inside feeling very; very strange。
The rest of the evening I bounced back and forth between upset and uneasy。 The worst part
being; I couldnt really put my finger on what exactly I
was upset or uneasy about。 Of course it was Bryce; but why wasnt I just mad? Hed been
such a … scoundrel。 Or happy? Why wasnt I just happy?
Hed e over to our house。 Hed stood on our driveway。 Hed said nice things。 Wed
laughed。
But I wasnt mad or happy。 And as I lay in bed trying to read; I realized that upset had been
overshadowed by uneasy。 I felt as though someone
was watching me。 I got so spooked I even got up and checked out the window and in the
closet and under the bed; but still the feeling didnt go
away。
It took me until nearly midnight to understand what it was。
It was me。 Watching me。
Looming Large and Smelly
Sunday I woke up feeling like Id been sick with the flu。 Like Id had one of those bad;
convoluted; unexplainable fever dreams。
And what Ive figured out about bad; convoluted; unexplainable dreams of any kind is that
youve just got to shake them off。 Try to forget that they
ever happened。
I shook it off; all right; and got out of bed early cause I had eaten almost nothing the night
before and I was starving! But as I was trucking into the
kitchen; I glanced into the family room and noticed that my dad was sacked out on the couch。
This was not good。 This was a sign of battles still in progress; and it made me feel like an
invader in my own territory。
He rolled over and kind of groaned; then curled up tighter under his skinny little quilt and
muttered some pretty unfriendly…sounding stuff into his
pillow。
I beat it into the kitchen and poured myself a killer bowl of corn flakes。 And I was about to
drown it in milk when my mother es waltzing in and