迪文小说

第31部分（第1页）

t　after　him；　and　the　last　ray　vanished。　I　was　left　in　total　darkness。　I　listened　for　some　noise；　but　heard　nothing。　A　very　long　time　elapsed。　I　grew　weary：　it　was　cold；　in　spite　of　the　cloak；　and　then　I　did　not　see　the　use　of　staying；　as　I　was　not　to　rouse　the　house。　I　was　on　the　point　of　risking　Mr。　Rochester’s　displeasure　by　disobeying　his　orders；　when　the　light　once　more　gleamed　dimly　on　the　gallery　wall；　and　I　heard　his　unshod　feet　tread　the　matting。　“I　hope　it　is　he；”　thought　I；　“and　not　something　worse。”

He　re…entered；　pale　and　very　gloomy。　“I　have　found　it　all　out；”　said　he；　setting　his　candle　down　on　the　washstand；　“it　is　as　I　thought。”

“How；　sir？”

He　made　no　reply；　but　stood　with　his　arms　folded；　looking　on　the　ground。　At　the　end　of　a　few　minutes　he　inquired　in　rather　a　peculiar　tone—

“I　forget　whether　you　said　you　saw　anything　when　you　opened　your　chamber　door。”

“No；　sir；　only　the　candlestick　on　the　ground。”

“But　you　heard　an　odd　laugh？　You　have　heard　that　laugh　before；　I　should　think；　or　something　like　it？”

“Yes；　sir：　there　is　a　woman　who　sews　here；　called　Grace　Poole；—she　laughs　in　that　way。　She　is　a　singular　person。”

“Just　so。　Grace　Poole—you　have　guessed　it。　She　is；　as　you　say；　singular—very。　Well；　I　shall　reflect　on　the　subject。　Meantime；　I　am　glad　that　you　are　the　only　person；　besides　myself；　acquainted　with　the　precise　details　of　to…night’s　incident。　You　are　no　talking　fool：　say　nothing　about　it。　I　will　account　for　this　state　of　affairs”　（pointing　to　the　bed）：　“and　now　return　to　your　own　room。　I　shall　do　very　well　on　the　sofa　in　the　library　for　the　rest　of　the　night。　It　is　near　four：…　in　two　hours　the　servants　will　be　up。”

“Good…night；　then；　sir；”　said　I；　departing。

He　seemed　surprised—very　inconsistently　so；　as　he　had　just　told　me　to　go。

“What！”　he　exclaimed；　“are　you　quitting　me　already；　and　in　that　way？”

“You　said　I　might　go；　sir。”

“But　not　without　taking　leave；　not　without　a　word　or　two　of　acknowledgment　and　good…will：　not；　in　short；　in　that　brief；　dry　fashion。　Why；　you　have　saved　my　life！—snatched　me　from　a　horrible　and　excruciating　death！　and　you　walk　past　me　as　if　we　were　mutual　strangers！　At　least　shake　hands。”

He　held　out　his　hand；　I　gave　him　mine：　he　took　it　first　in　one；　them　in　both　his　own。

“You　have　saved　my　life：　I　have　a　pleasure　in　owing　you　so　immense　a　debt。　I　cannot　say　more。　Nothing　else　that　has　being　would　have　been　tolerable　to　me　in　the　character　of　creditor　for　such　an　obligation：　but　you：　it　is　different；—I　feel　your　benefits　no　burden；　Jane。”

He　paused；　gazed　at　me：　words　almost　visible　trembled　on　his　lips；—but　his　voice　was　checked。

“Good…night　again；　sir。　There　is　no　debt；　benefit；　burden；　obligation；　in　the　case。”

“I　knew；”　he　continued；　“you　would　do　me　good　in　some　way；　at　some　time；—I　saw　it　in　your　eyes　when　I　first　beheld　you：　their　expression　and　smile　did　not”—（again　he　stopped）—“did　not”　（he　proceeded　hastily）　“strike　delight　to　my　very　inmost　heart　so　for　nothing。　People　talk　of　natural　sympathies；　I　have　heard　of　good　genii：　there　are　grains　of　truth　in　the　wildest　fable。　My　cherished　preserver；　goodnight！”

Strange　energy　was　in　his　voice；　strange　fire　in　his　look。

“I　am　glad　I　happened　to　be　awake；”　I　said：　and　then　I　was　going。

“What！　you　will　go？”

“I　am　cold；　sir。”

“Cold？　Yes；—and　standing　in　a　pool！　Go；　then；　Jane；　go！”　But　he　still　retained　my　hand；　and　I　could　not　free　it。　I　bethought　myself　of　an　expedient。

“I　think　I　hear　Mrs。　Fairfax　move；　sir；”　said　I。

“Well；　leave　me：”　he　relaxed　his　fingers；　and　I　was　gone。

I　regained　my　couch；　but　never　thought　of　sleep。　Till　morning　dawned　I　was　tossed　on　a　buoyant　but　unquiet　sea；　where　billows　of　trouble　rolled　under　surges　of　joy。　I　thought　sometimes　I　saw　beyond　its　wild　waters　a　shore；　sweet　as　the　hills　of　Beulah；　and　now　and　then　a　freshening　gale；　wakened　by　hope；　bore　my　spirit　triumphantly　towards　the　bourne：　but　I　could　not　reach　it；　even　in　fancy—a　counteracting　breeze　blew　off　land；　and　continually　drove　me　back。　Sense　would　resist　delirium：　judgment　would　warn　passion。　Too　feverish　to　rest；　I　rose　as　soon　as　day　dawned。

Chapter　16

I　both　wished　and　feared　to　see　Mr。　Rochester　on　the　day　which　followed　this　sleepless　night：　I　wanted　to　hear　his　voice　again；　yet　feared　to　meet　his　eye。　During　the　early　part　of　the　morning；　I　momentarily　expected　his　ing；　he　was　not　in　the　frequent　habit　of　entering　the　schoolroom；　but　he　did　step　in　for　a　few　minutes　sometimes；　and　I　had　the　impression　that　he　was　sure　to　visit　it　that　day。

But　the　morning　passed　just　as　usual：　nothing　happened　to　interrupt　the　quiet　course　of　Adèle’s　studies；　only　soon　after　breakfast；　I　heard　some　bustle　in　the　neighbourhood　of　Mr。　Rochester’s　chamber；　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　voice；　and　Leah’s；　and　the　cook’s—that　is；　John’s　wife—and　even　John’s　own　gruff　tones。　There　were　exclamations　of　“What　a　mercy　master　was　not　burnt　in　his　bed！”　“It　is　always　dangerous　to　keep　a　candle　lit　at　night。”　“How　providential　that　he　had　presence　of　mind　to　think　of　the　water…jug！”　“I　wonder　he　waked　nobody！”　“It　is　to　be　hoped　he　will　not　take　cold　with　sleeping　on　the　library　sofa；”　&c。