迪文小说

第32部分（第1页）

I　hardly　heard　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　account　of　the　curtain　conflagration　during　dinner；　so　much　was　I　occupied　in　puzzling　my　brains　over　the　enigmatical　character　of　Grace　Poole；　and　still　more　in　pondering　the　problem　of　her　position　at　Thornfield　and　questioning　why　she　had　not　been　given　into　custody　that　morning；　or；　at　the　very　least；　dismissed　from　her　master’s　service。　He　had　almost　as　much　as　declared　his　conviction　of　her　criminality　last　night：　what　mysterious　cause　withheld　him　from　accusing　her？　Why　had　he　enjoined　me；　too；　to　secrecy？　It　was　strange：　a　bold；　vindictive；　and　haughty　gentleman　seemed　somehow　in　the　power　of　one　of　the　meanest　of　his　dependants；　so　much　in　her　power；　that　even　when　she　lifted　her　hand　against　his　life；　he　dared　not　openly　charge　her　with　the　attempt；　much　less　punish　her　for　it。

Had　Grace　been　young　and　handsome；　I　should　have　been　tempted　to　think　that　tenderer　feelings　than　prudence　or　fear　influenced　Mr。　Rochester　in　her　behalf；　but；　hard…favoured　and　matronly　as　she　was；　the　idea　could　not　be　admitted。　“Yet；”　I　reflected；　“she　has　been　young　once；　her　youth　would　be　contemporary　with　her　master’s：　Mrs。　Fairfax　told　me　once；　she　had　lived　here　many　years。　I　don’t　think　she　can　ever　have　been　pretty；　but；　for　aught　I　know；　she　may　possess　originality　and　strength　of　character　to　pensate　for　the　want　of　personal　advantages。　Mr。　Rochester　is　an　amateur　of　the　decided　and　eccentric：　Grace　is　eccentric　at　least。　What　if　a　former　caprice　（a　freak　very　possible　to　a　nature　so　sudden　and　headstrong　as　his）　has　delivered　him　into　her　power；　and　she　now　exercises　over　his　actions　a　secret　influence；　the　result　of　his　own　indiscretion；　which　he　cannot　shake　off；　and　dare　not　disregard？”　But；　having　reached　this　point　of　conjecture；　Mrs。　Poole’s　square；　flat　figure；　and　unely；　dry；　even　coarse　face；　recurred　so　distinctly　to　my　mind’s　eye；　that　I　thought；　“No；　impossible！　my　supposition　cannot　be　correct。　Yet；”　suggested　the　secret　voice　which　talks　to　us　in　our　own　hearts；　“you　are　not　beautiful　either；　and　perhaps　Mr。　Rochester　approves　you：　at　any　rate；　you　have　often　felt　as　if　he　did；　and　last　night—remember　his　words；　remember　his　look；　remember　his　voice！”

I　well　remembered　all；　language；　glance；　and　tone　seemed　at　the　moment　vividly　renewed。　I　was　now　in　the　schoolroom；　Adèle　was　drawing；　I　bent　over　her　and　directed　her　pencil。　She　looked　up　with　a　sort　of　start。

“Qu’　avez…vous；　mademoiselle？”　said　she。　“Vos　doigts　tremblent　me　la　feuille；　et　vos　joues　sont　rouges：　mais；　rouges　me　des　cerises！”

“I　am　hot；　Adèle；　with　stooping！”　She　went　on　sketching；　I　went　on　thinking。

I　hastened　to　drive　from　my　mind　the　hateful　notion　I　had　been　conceiving　respecting　Grace　Poole；　it　disgusted　me。　I　pared　myself　with　her；　and　found　we　were　different。　Bessie　Leaven　had　said　I　was　quite　a　lady；　and　she　spoke　truth—I　was　a　lady。　And　now　I　looked　much　better　than　I　did　when　Bessie　saw　me；　I　had　more　colour　and　more　flesh；　more　life；　more　vivacity；　because　I　had　brighter　hopes　and　keener　enjoyments。

“Evening　approaches；”　said　I；　as　I　looked　towards　the　window。　“I　have　never　heard　Mr。　Rochester’s　voice　or　step　in　the　house　to…day；　but　surely　I　shall　see　him　before　night：　I　feared　the　meeting　in　the　morning；　now　I　desire　it；　because　expectation　has　been　so　long　baffled　that　it　is　grown　impatient。”

When　dusk　actually　closed；　and　when　Adèle　left　me　to　go　and　play　in　the　nursery　with　Sophie；　I　did　most　keenly　desire　it。　I　listened　for　the　bell　to　ring　below；　I　listened　for　Leah　ing　up　with　a　message；　I　fancied　sometimes　I　heard　Mr。　Rochester’s　own　tread；　and　I　turned　to　the　door；　expecting　it　to　open　and　admit　him。　The　door　remained　shut；　darkness　only　came　in　through　the　window。　Still　it　was　not　late；　he　often　sent　for　me　at　seven　and　eight　o’clock；　and　it　was　yet　but　six。　Surely　I　should　not　be　wholly　disappointed　to…　night；　when　I　had　so　many　things　to　say　to　him！　I　wanted　again　to　introduce　the　subject　of　Grace　Poole；　and　to　hear　what　he　would　answer；　I　wanted　to　ask　him　plainly　if　he　really　believed　it　was　she　who　had　made　last　night’s　hideous　attempt；　and　if　so；　why　he　kept　her　wickedness　a　secret。　It　little　mattered　whether　my　curiosity　irritated　him；　I　knew　the　pleasure　of　vexing　and　soothing　him　by　turns；　it　was　one　I　chiefly　delighted　in；　and　a　sure　instinct　always　prevented　me　from　going　too　far；　beyond　the　verge　of　provocation　I　never　ventured；　on　the　extreme　brink　I　liked　well　to　try　my　skill。　Retaining　every　minute　form　of　respect；　every　propriety　of　my　station；　I　could　still　meet　him　in　argument　without　fear　or　uneasy　restraint；　this　suited　both　him　and　me。

A　tread　creaked　on　the　stairs　at　last。　Leah　made　her　appearance；　but　it　was　only　to　intimate　that　tea　was　ready　in　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　room。　Thither　I　repaired；　glad　at　least　to　go　downstairs；　for　that　brought　me；　I　imagined；　nearer　to　Mr。　Rochester’s　presence。

“You　must　want　your　tea；”　said　the　good　lady；　as　I　joined　her；　“you　ate　so　little　at　dinner。　I　am　afraid；”　she　continued；　“you　are　not　well　to…day：　you　look　flushed　and　feverish。”

“Oh；　quite　well！　I　never　felt　better。”

“Then　you　must　prove　it　by　evincing　a　good　appetite；　will　you　fill　the　teapot　while　I　knit　off　this　needle？”　Having　pleted　her　task；　she　rose　to　draw　down　the　blind；　which　she　had　hitherto　kept　up；　by　way；　I　suppose；　of　making　the　most　of　daylight；　though　dusk　was　now　fast　deepening　into　total　obscurity。

“It　is　fair　to…night；”　said　she；　as　she　looked　through　the　panes；　“though　not　starlight；　Mr。　Rochester　has；　on　the　whole；　had　a　favourable　day　for　his　journey。”

“Journey！—Is　Mr。　Rochester　gone　anywhere？　I　did　not　know　he　was　out。”

“Oh；　he　set　of　the　moment　he　had　breakfasted！　He　is　gone　to　the　Leas；　Mr。　Eshton’s　place；　ten　miles　on　the　other　side　Millcote。　I　believe　there　is　quite　a　party　assembled　there；　Lord　Ingram；　Sir　George　Lynn；　Colonel　Dent；　and　others。”

“Do　you　expect　him　back　to…night？”

“No—nor　to…morrow　either；　I　should　think　he　is　very　likely　to　stay　a　week　or　more：　when　these　fine；　fashionable　people　get　together；　they　are　so　surrounded　by　elegance　and　gaiety；　so　well　provided　with　all　that　can　please　and　entertain；　they　are　in　no　hurry　to　separate。　Gentlemen　especially　are　often　in　request　on　such　occasions；　and　Mr。　Rochester　is　so　talented　and　so　lively　in　society；　that　I　believe　he　is　a　general　favourite：　the　ladies　are　very　fond　of　him；　though　you　would　not　think　his　appearance　calculated　to　remend　him　particularly　in　their　eyes：　but　I　suppose　his　acquirements　and　abilities；　perhaps　his　wealth　and　good　blood；　make　amends　for　any　little　fault　of　look。”

“Are　there　ladies　at　the　Leas？”

“There　are　Mrs。　Eshton　and　her　three　daughters—very　elegant　young　ladies　indeed；　and　there　are　the　Honourable　Blanche　and　Mary　Ingram；　most　beautiful　women；　I　suppose：　indeed　I　have　seen　Blanche；　six　or　seven　years　since；　when　she　was　a　girl　of　eighteen。　She　came　here　to　a　Christmas　ball　and　party　Mr。　Rochester　gave。　You　should　have　seen　the　dining…room　that　day—how　richly　it　was　decorated；　how　brilliantly　lit　up！　I　should　think　there　were　fifty　ladies　and　gentlemen　present—all　of　the　first　county　families；　and　Miss　Ingram　was　considered　the　belle　of　the　evening。”

“You　saw　her；　you　say；　Mrs。　Fairfax：　what　was　she　like？”

“Yes；　I　saw　her。　The　dining…room　doors　were　thrown　open；　and；　as　it　was　Christmas…time；　the　servants　were　allowed　to　assemble　in　the　hall；　to　hear　some　of　the　ladies　sing　and　play。　Mr。　Rochester　would　have　me　to　e　in；　and　I　sat　down　in　a　quiet　corner　and　watched　them。　I　never　saw　a　more　splendid　scene：　the　ladies　were　magnificently　dressed；　most　of　them—at　least　most　of　the　younger　ones—looked　handsome；　but　Miss　Ingram　was　certainly　the　queen。”