迪文小说

第18部分（第1页）

and　disappeared　from　sight。

〃Ill　be　in　touch；　princess；〃　he　had　said　when　he　kissed　her　good…bye。

〃You　shouldnt；　Ross；〃　she　had　said；　though　her　throat　was　tight　with

emotion。　〃Its　better　this　way。〃

He　hadnt　said　anything　more；　had　simply　turned　on　his　heel　and　walked

off。

The　sense　of　loss　she　had　felt　then　should　have　eased　as　the　day　wore

on；　but　it　didnt。　It　grew　sharper；　forcing　her　to　a　deeper　level　of

soulsearching。　On　this　level　she　felt　great　guilt。　Twice；　now；　she　had

been　with　Ross。　Had　it　not　been　for　the　first　time；　Crystal　might　still

be　alive。

The　pain　of　her　memory　of　that　time　was　so　great　that　she　rarely　went

there。　Now　she　did。　She　and　Crystal　had　double…dated　that　rainy　Saturday

night　and　had　returned　home　on　a　sour　note；　largely　from　Chloes

distraction。　When　Crystal　confronted　her；　Chloe　told　her　about　Ross。　She

hadnt　meant　to　gloat；　only　to　share　the　excitement。

But　Crystal　was　furious。　Hurt；　jealousy；　anger…Chloe　had　never　been　able

to　sort　through　her　twins　rage。　Crystal　had　run　from　the　house；　taken

her　small　sports　car；　and　sped　away。　Within　an　hour　the　police　were　at

the　door　to　report　that　the　small　car　had　skidded　on　the　wet　road　and

slammed　into　a　tree。　Crystal　had　died　instantly。

Chloe　twitched。　Her　forehead　was　bathed　in　sweat。　Throwing　an　arm　over

her　eyes；　she　sank　more　deeply　into　the　sofa。　For　years　she　had　lived

with　the　guilt　of　causing　Crystals　death。

But　there　was　new　guilt　now。　Ross　had　fallen　in　love　with　her　and　she

had　allowed　it　to　happen。　Since　she　couldnt　marry　him；　he　would　be

hurt；　which　was　the　last　thing　she　wanted。　He　deserved　the　best；　the

finest。　He　deserved　a　wife　and　children　and　all　those　things　she　might

have　wanted　herself；　had　life　been　different。　Causing　him　pain　increased

her　own　pain　ten…fold。　Because；　when　all　was　said　and　done；　she　loved

him；　too。

That　was　the　deepest　layer　unearthed　in　her　soul…search。　She　did　love

Ross；　but　it　had　no　future。　There　would　always　be　yesterday　and　the

ghosts　she　lived　with。　Ross　had　stolen　her　heart；　but　only　a　part。　The