rivers of Heaven。
In short; I; who am known as Master Elegant Effendi; am dead; but I have
not been buried; and therefore my soul has not pletely left my body。 This
extraordinary situation; although naturally my case isn’t the first; has inflicted
horrible suffering upon the immortal part of me。 Though I cannot feel my
crushed skull or my deposing body covered in wounds; full of broken
bones and partially submerged in ice…cold water; I do feel the deep torment of
my soul struggling desperately to escape its mortal coil。 It’s as if the whole
world; along with my body; were contracting into a bolus of anguish。
I can only pare this contraction to the surprising sense of release I felt
during the unequaled moment of my death。 Yes; I instantly understood that
the wretch wanted to kill me when he unexpectedly struck me with a stone
and cracked my skull; but I didn’t believe he’d follow through。 I suddenly
realized I was a hopeful man; something I hadn’t been aware of while living
my life in the shadows between workshop and household。 I clung passionately
to life with my nails; my fingers and my teeth; which I sank into his skin。 I
won’t bore you with the painful details of the subsequent blows I received。
When in the course of this agony I knew I would die; an incredible feeling
of relief filled me。 I felt this relief during the moment of departure; my arrival
to this side was soothing; like the dream of seeing oneself asleep。 The snow…
and mud…covered shoes of my murderer were the last things I noticed。 I closed
my eyes as if I were going to sleep; and I gently passed over。
My present plaint isn’t that my teeth have fallen like nuts into my
bloody mouth; or even that my face has been maimed beyond recognition; or
that I’ve been abandoned in the depths of a well—it’s that everyone assumes
I’m still alive。 My troubled soul is anguished that my family and intimates;
who; yes; think of me often; imagine me engaged in trivial dealings somewhere
in Istanbul; or even chasing after another woman。 Enough! Find my body
without delay; pray for me and have me buried。 Above all; find my murderer!
For even if you bury me in the most magnificent of tombs; so long as that
wretch remains free; I’ll writhe restlessly in my grave; waiting and infecting
you all with faithlessness。 Find that son…of…a…whore murderer and I’ll tell you
in detail just what I see in the Afterlife—but know this; after he’s caught; he
must be tortured by slowly splintering eight or ten of his bones; preferably his
ribs; with a vise before piercing his scalp with skewers made especially for the
task by torturers and plucking out his disgusting; oily hair; strand by strand; so
he shrieks each time。
Who is this murderer who vexes me so? Why has he killed me in such a
surprising way? Be curious and mindful of these matters。 You say the world is
full of base and worthless criminals? Perhaps this one did it; perhaps that one?