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迪文小说>我的名字是红色 > 第43部分(第1页)

第43部分(第1页)

I knew this was not to be my fate。 He brought the inkpot down onto my

head once again。 I was in such a state of profound torment that I could only

vaguely discern the impact。 He; the inkpot and the room illuminated faintly by

the candle had already begun to fade。

Yet; I was still alive。 My desire to cling to this world; to run away and escape

him; the flailing of my hands and arms in an attempt to protect my face and

bloody  head;  the  way;  I  believe;  I  bit  his  wrist  at  one  time;  and  the  inkpot

striking my face made me aware of this。

We struggled for a while; if you can call it that。 He was very strong and very

agitated。  He  laid  me  out  flat  on  my  back。  Pressing  his  knees  onto  my

shoulders; he practically nailed me to the ground while he raved on in a very

disrespectful  tone;  accosting  me;  a  dying  old  man。  Perhaps  because  I  could

neither understand nor listen to him; perhaps because I took no pleasure in

looking into his bloodshot eyes; he struck my head once more。 His face and his

entire body had bee bright red from the ink splattering out of the inkpot;

and I suppose; from the blood splattering out of me。

Saddened that the last thing I’d ever see in this world was this man who

would be my enemy; I closed my eyes。 Thereupon; I saw a soft; gentle light。 The

light was as sweet and enticing as the sleep I thought would straightaway ease

all my pains。 I saw a figure within the light and as a child might; I asked; “Who

are you?”

“It is I; Azrael; the Angel of Death;” he said。 “I am the one who ends man’s

journey  in  this  world。  I  am  the  one  who  separates  children  from  their

mothers; wives from their husbands; lovers from each other and fathers from

their daughters。 No mortal in this world avoids meeting me。”

191

When I knew death was unavoidable; I wept。

My  tears  made  me  profoundly  thirsty。  On  the  one  hand  there  was  the

stupefying  agony  of  my  face  and  eyes  drenched  in  blood;  on  the  other  hand

there was the place where frenzy and cruelty ceased; yet that place was strange

and terrifying。 I knew it to be that illumined realm; the Land of the Dead; to

which  Azrael  beckoned  me;  and  I  was  frightened。  Even  so;  I  knew  I  couldn’t

long remain in this world that caused me to writhe and howl in agony。 In this

land of frightful pain and torment; there was no place for me to take solace。 To

stay;  I’d  have  to  resign  myself  to  this  unbearable  torment  and  this  was

impossible in my elderly condition。

Just before I died; I actually longed for my death; and at the same time; I

understood the answer to the question that I’d spent my entire life pondering;

the  answer  I  couldn’t  find  in  books:  How  was  it  that  everybody;  without

exception;  succeeded  in  dying?  It  was  precisely  through  this  simple  desire  to

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