after days; sometimes after months; as with old men who go blind naturally。
I’d caught sight of it while passing into the next room; I stood and looked;
yes; there it was: an ivory mirror with a twisted handle and thick ebony frame;
its length nicely embellished with script。 I sat down again and gazed at my
own eyes。 How beautifully the flame of the candle danced in my pupils—
which had witnessed my hand paint for sixty years。
“How had Master Bihzad done it?” I asked myself once more。
Never once taking my eyes off the mirror; with the practiced movements of
a woman applying kohl to her eyelids; my hand found the needle on its own。
Without hesitation; as if making a hole at the end of an ostrich egg soon to be
embellished; I bravely; calmly and firmly pressed the needle into the pupil of
my right eye。 My innards sank; not because I felt what I was doing; but because
I saw what I was doing。 I pushed the needle into my eye to the depth of a
quarter the length of a finger; then removed it。
In the couplet worked into the frame of the mirror; the poet had wished
the observer eternal beauty and wisdom—and eternal life to the mirror itself。
Smiling; I did the same to my other eye。
For a long while I didn’t move。 I stared at the world—at everything。
As I’d surmised; the colors of the world did not darken; but seemed to
bleed ever so gently into one another。 I could still more or less see。
The pale light of the sun fell over the red and oxblood cloth of the Treasury。
In the accustomed ceremony; the Head Treasurer and his men broke the seal
350
and opened the lock and the door。 Jezmi Agha changed the chamber pots;
lamps and brazier; brought in fresh bread and dried mulberries and
announced to the others that we would continue searching for the horses with
oddly drawn nostrils within Our Sultan’s books。 What could be more
exquisite than looking at the world’s most beautiful pictures while trying to
recollect God’s vision of the world?
351
I AM CALLED BLACK
When the Head Treasurer and the chief officers opened the portal with great
ceremony my eyes were so accustomed to the velvety red aura of the Treasury
rooms that the early morning winter sunlight filtering in from the courtyard
of the Royal Private Quarters of the Enderun seemed terrifying。 I stood dead
still; as did Master Osman himself: If I moved; it seemed; the clues we sought
in the moldy; dusty and tangible air of the Treasury might escape。
With curious amazement; as if seeing some magnificent object for the first
time; Master Osman stared at the light cascading toward us between the