迪文小说

迪文小说>简爱英文版pdf > 第44部分(第2页)

第44部分(第2页)

He laughed sardonically; hastily took my hand; and as hastily threw it from him。

“If I could do that; simpleton; where would the danger be? Annihilated in a moment。 Ever since I have known Mason; I have only had to say to him ‘Do that;’ and the thing has been done。 But I cannot give him orders in this case: I cannot say ‘Beware of harming me; Richard;’ for it is imperative that I should keep him ignorant that harm to me is possible。 Now you look puzzled; and I will puzzle you further。 You are my little friend; are you not?”

“I like to serve you; sir; and to obey you in all that is right。”

“Precisely: I see you do。 I see genuine contentment in your gait and mien; your eye and face; when you are helping me and pleasing me—working for me; and with me; in; as you characteristically say; ‘all that is right:’ for if I bid you do what you thought wrong; there would be no light…footed running; no neat…handed alacrity; no lively glance and animated plexion。 My friend would then turn to me; quiet and pale; and would say; ‘No; sir; that is impossible: I cannot do it; because it is wrong;’ and would bee immutable as a fixed star。 Well; you too have power over me; and may injure me: yet I dare not show you where I am vulnerable; lest; faithful and friendly as you are; you should transfix me at once。”

“If you have no more to fear from Mr。 Mason than you have from me; sir; you are very safe。”

“God grant it may be so! Here; Jane; is an arbour; sit down。”

The arbour was an arch in the wall; lined with ivy; it contained a rustic seat。 Mr。 Rochester took it; leaving room; however; for me: but I stood before him。

“Sit;” he said; “the bench is long enough for two。 You don’t hesitate to take a place at my side; do you? Is that wrong; Jane?”

I answered him by assuming it: to refuse would; I felt; have been unwise。

“Now; my little friend; while the sun drinks the dew—while all the flowers in this old garden awake and expand; and the birds fetch their young ones’ breakfast out of the Thornfield; and the early bees do their first spell of work—I’ll put a case to you; which you must endeavour to suppose your own: but first; look at me; and tell me you are at ease; and not fearing that I err in detaining you; or that you err in staying。”

“No; sir; I am content。”

“Well then; Jane; call to aid your fancy:… suppose you were no longer a girl well reared and disciplined; but a wild boy indulged from childhood upwards; imagine yourself in a remote foreign land; conceive that you there mit a capital error; no matter of what nature or from what motives; but one ust follow you through life and taint all your existence。 Mind; I don’t say a crime; I am not speaking of shedding of blood or any other guilty act; which might make the perpetrator amenable to the law: my word is error。 The results of what you have done bee in time to you utterly insupportable; you take measures to obtain relief: unusual measures; but neither unlawful nor culpable。 Still you are miserable; for hope has quitted you on the very confines of life: your sun at noon darkens in an eclipse; which you feel will not leave it till the time of setting。 Bitter and base associations have bee the sole food of your memory: you wander here and there; seeking rest in exile: happiness in pleasure—I mean in heartless; sensual pleasure—such as dulls intellect and blights feeling。 Heart…weary and soul…withered; you e home after years of voluntary banishment: you make a new acquaintance—how or where no matter: you find in this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you have sought for twenty years; and never before encountered; and they are all fresh; healthy; without soil and without taint。 Such society revives; regenerates: you feel better days e back—higher wishes; purer feelings; you desire to remence your life; and to spend what remains to you of days in a way more worthy of an immortal being。 To attain this end; are you justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom—a mere conventional impediment which neither your conscience sanctifies nor your judgment approves?”

He paused for an answer: and what was I to say? Oh; for some good spirit to suggest a judicious and satisfactory response! Vain aspiration! The west wind whispered in the ivy round me; but no gentle Ariel borrowed its breath as a medium of speech: the birds sang in the tree…tops; but their song; however sweet; was inarticulate。

Again Mr。 Rochester propounded his query:

“Is the wandering and sinful; but now rest…seeking and repentant; man justified in daring the world’s opinion; in order to attach to him for ever this gentle; gracious; genial stranger; thereby securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life?”

“Sir;” I answered; “a wanderer’s repose or a sinner’s reformation should never depend on a fellow…creature。 Men and women die; philosophers falter in wisdom; and Christians in goodness: if any one you know has suffered and erred; let him look higher than his equals for strength to amend and solace to heal。”

“But the instrument—the instrument! God; who does the work; ordains the instrument。 I have myself—I tell it you without parable—been a worldly; dissipated; restless man; and I believe I have found the instrument for my cure in—”

He paused: the birds went on carolling; the leaves lightly rustling。 I almost wondered they did not check their songs and whispers to catch the suspended revelation; but they would have had to wait many minutes—so long was the silence protracted。 At last I looked up at the tardy speaker: he was looking eagerly at me。

“Little friend;” said he; in quite a changed tone—while his face changed too; losing all its softness and gravity; and being harsh and sarcastic—“you have noticed my tender penchant for Miss Ingram: don’t you think if I married her she would regenerate me with a vengeance?”

He got up instantly; went quite to the other end of the walk; and when he came back he was humming a tune。

“Jane; Jane;” said he; stopping before me; “you are quite pale with your vigils: don’t you curse me for disturbing your rest?”

“Curse you? No; sir。”

“Shake hands in confirmation of the word。 What cold fingers! They were warmer last night when I touched them at the door of the mysterious chamber。 Jane; when will you watch with me again?”

“Whenever I can be useful; sir。”

“For instance; the night before I am married! I am sure I shall not be able to sleep。 Will you promise to sit up with me to bear me pany? To you I can talk of my lovely one: for now you have seen her and know her。”

“Yes; sir。”

“She’s a rare one; is she not; Jane?”

“Yes; sir。”

“A strapper—a real strapper; Jane: big; brown; and buxom; with hair just such as the ladies of Carthage must have had。 Bless me! there’s Dent and Lynn in the stables! Go in by the shrubbery; through that wicket。”

As I went one way; he went another; and I heard him in the yard; saying cheerfully—

“Mason got the start of you all this morning; he was gone before sunrise: I rose at four to see him off。”

Chapter 21

Presentiments are strange things! and so are sympathies; and so are signs; and the three bined make one mystery to which humanity has not yet found the key。 I never laughed at presentiments in my life; because I have had strange ones of my own。 Sympathies; I believe; exist (for instance; bet

已完结热门小说推荐

最新标签