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第38部分(第1页)

avoid disturbing the spirit of the Hanged Jew; I cried out:

“What are we to do now?”

“I  don’t  know;”  she  said;  minding  the  rules  of  “love  chess。”  Walking

through the old garden; she left delicate footprints in the snow—certain to be

erased by the whiteness—and disappeared quietly。

170

I WILL BE CALLED A MURDERER

Doubtless;  you  too  have  experienced  what  I’m  about  to  describe:  At  times;

while  walking  through  the  infinite  and  winding  streets  of  Istanbul;  while

spooning  a  bite  of  vegetable  stew  into  my  mouth  at  a  public  kitchen  or

squinting  with  fixed  attention  on  the  curved  design  of  a  reed…style  border

illumination; I feel I’m living the present as if it were the past。 That is; when

I’m  walking  down  a  street  whitewashed  with  snow;  I’ll  have  the  urge  to  say

that I was walking down it。

The extraordinary events I will relate occurred at once in the present and in

the  past。  It  was  evening;  the  twilight  gave  way  to  blackness  and  a  very  faint

snow fell as I walked down the street where Enishte Effendi lived。

Unlike other evenings; I’d e here knowing precisely what I wanted。 On

other  evenings;  my  legs  would  take  me  here  as  I  absentmindedly  thought

about  other  things:  how  I’d  told  my  mother  I  earned  seven  hundred  silver

pieces  for  a  single  book;  about  the  covers  of  Herat  volumes  with  ungilded

ornamental rosettes dating from the time of Tamerlane; about the continued

shock  of  learning  that  others  still  painted  under  my  name  or  about  my

tomfoolery  and  transgressions。  This  time;  however;  I’d  e  here  with

forethought and intent。

The large courtyard gate—that I feared no one would open for me—opened

on its own when I went to knock; reassuring me that Allah was with me。 The

shiny  stone…paved  portion  of  the  courtyard  that  I  walked  through  on  those

nights when I came to add new illustrations to Enishte Effendi’s magnificent

book was empty。 To the right beside the well rested the bucket; and perched on

it a sparrow apparently oblivious to the cold; a bit farther on sat the open…air

stone stove; which for some reason wasn’t lit even at this late hour; and to the

left; the stable for visitors’ horses which made up part of the house’s ground

floor。  Everything  was  as  I  expected  it  to  be。  I  entered  through  the  unlocked

door beside the stable; and as an uninvited guest might do to avoid happening

upon an inappropriate scene; I stamped my feet and coughed as I climbed the

wooden staircase to the living quarters。

My  coughing  elicited  no  response。  Nor  did  the  noise  of  stamping  my

muddy shoes; which I removed and left next to those lined up at the entrance

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