gardens where lovers met on starry nights passed before our eyes: spring trees;
fantastic birds; frozen time…We imagined bloody battles as immediate and
alarming as our own nightmares; bodies torn in two; chargers with blood…
spattered armor; beautiful men stabbing each other with daggers; the small…
mouthed; small…handed; slanted…eye; bowed women watching events from
barely open windows…We recalled pretty boys who were haughty and
conceited; and handsome shahs and khans; their power and palaces long lost
to history。 Just like the women who wept together in the harems of those
shahs; we now knew we were passing from life into memory; but were we
passing from history into legend as they had? To avoid being drawn further
into a realm of horror by the lengthening shadows of the fear of being
forgotten—even more terrifying than the fear of dying—we asked each other
about our favorite scenes of death。
The first thing to e to mind was the way Satan duped Dehhak into
killing his father。 At the time of that legend; which is described in the
beginning of the Book of Kings; the world had been newly created; and
everything was so basic that nothing needed explanation。 If you wanted milk;
you simply milked a goat and drank; you’d say “horse;” then mount it and
ride away; you’d contemplate “evil” and Satan would appear and convince
you of the beauty of murdering your own father。 Dehhak’s murder of Merdas;
his father of Arab descent; was beautiful; both because it was unprovoked and
because it occurred at night in a magnificent palace garden while golden stars
gently illuminated cypresses and colorful spring flowers。
Next; we recalled legendary Rüstem; who unknowingly killed his son
Suhrab; mander of the enemy army that Rüstem had battled for three
days。 There was something that touched us all in the way Rüstem beat his
breast in tearful anguish when he saw the armband he had given the boy’s
mother years ago and recognized as his own son the enemy whose chest he’d
ravished with thrusts of the sword。
What was that something?
418
The rain continued its patter on the roof of the dervish lodge and I paced
back and forth。 Suddenly I said the following:
“Either our father; Master Osman; will betray and kill us; or we shall betray
and kill him。”
We were stricken with horror because what I said rang absolutely true; we
fell silent。 Still pacing; and panicked by the thought that everything would
revert to its former state; I told myself the following: “Tell the story of
Afrasiyab’s murder of Siyavush to change the subject。 But that’s a betrayal