then when she chased me around at recess and tried to lay kisses on me; the whole school
started singing; “Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree; K…I…S…SI…
N…G…”
My first year in town was a disaster。
Third grade wasnt much better。 She was still hot on my trail every time I turned around。
Same with fourth。 But then in fifth grade I took action。
It started out slow — one of those Nah…thats…not…right ideas you get and forget。 But the more
I played with the idea; the more I thought; What
better way to ward Juli off? What better way to say to her; “Juli; you are not my type”?
And so; my friend; I hatched the plan。
I asked Shelly Stalls out。
To fully appreciate the brilliance of this; you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls。
She always has; though it beats me why。 Shellys nice
and shes friendly and shes got a lot of hair。 Whats not to like? But Juli hated her; and I was
going to make this little gem of knowledge the solution
to my problem。
What I was thinking was that Shelly would eat lunch at our table and maybe walk around a
little with me。 That way; anytime Juli was around; all Id
have to do was hang a little closer to Shelly and things would just naturally take care of
themselves。 What happened; though; is that Shelly took
things way too seriously。 She went around telling everybody — including Juli — that we were
in love。
In no time Juli and Shelly got into some kind of catfight; and while Shelly was recovering from
that; my supposed friend Garrett — who had been
totally behind this plan — told her what I was up to。 Hes always denied it; but Ive since
learned that his code of honor is easily corrupted by weepy
females。
……… Page 6………
That afternoon the principal tried cross…examining me; but I wouldnt cop to anything。 I just
kept telling her that I was sorry and that I really didnt
understand what had happened。 Finally she let me go。
Shelly cried for days and followed me around school sniffling and making me feel like a real
jerk; which was even worse than having Juli as a