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then when she chased me around at recess and tried to lay kisses on me; the whole school

started singing; “Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree; K…I…S…SI…

N…G…”

My first year in town was a disaster。

Third grade wasnt much better。 She was still hot on my trail every time I turned around。

Same with fourth。 But then in fifth grade I took action。

It started out slow — one of those Nah…thats…not…right ideas you get and forget。 But the more

I played with the idea; the more I thought; What

better way to ward Juli off? What better way to say to her; “Juli; you are not my type”?

And so; my friend; I hatched the plan。

I asked Shelly Stalls out。

To fully appreciate the brilliance of this; you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls。

She always has; though it beats me why。 Shellys nice

and shes friendly and shes got a lot of hair。 Whats not to like? But Juli hated her; and I was

going to make this little gem of knowledge the solution

to my problem。

What I was thinking was that Shelly would eat lunch at our table and maybe walk around a

little with me。 That way; anytime Juli was around; all Id

have to do was hang a little closer to Shelly and things would just naturally take care of

themselves。 What happened; though; is that Shelly took

things way too seriously。 She went around telling everybody — including Juli — that we were

in love。

In no time Juli and Shelly got into some kind of catfight; and while Shelly was recovering from

that; my supposed friend Garrett — who had been

totally behind this plan — told her what I was up to。 Hes always denied it; but Ive since

learned that his code of honor is easily corrupted by weepy

females。

……… Page 6………

That afternoon the principal tried cross…examining me; but I wouldnt cop to anything。 I just

kept telling her that I was sorry and that I really didnt

understand what had happened。 Finally she let me go。

Shelly cried for days and followed me around school sniffling and making me feel like a real

jerk; which was even worse than having Juli as a

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