“What about passes?” some sensible basket boy asked。
“Your teachers have a list。 But if they say anything; tell them I say your neckties are your
passes。 Ill meet you back here when everyones
dismissed for the auction。 Got it? Dont dawdle!”
We grumbled; Yeah; yeah; and headed to class。 And I can tell you this; not one of the twenty
of us listened to a word any of our teachers said that
morning。 How can you listen with a noose around your neck; pinched toes; and a room full of
idiots thinking its open season on basket boys?
Whoever started this stupid tradition ought to be crammed into a basket and tossed
downstream without a serving spoon。
I was basket boy number nine。 Which meant I had to stand there on the stage in the gym
while nearly half the guys got auctioned off。 Minimum bid;
ten bucks。 And if nobody bid; the secret was a teacher was assigned to bid on you。
Yes; my friend; the possibilities for mortification were infinite。
Some of the moms showed up and stood off to the side with their camcorders and zoom
lenses; fidgeting and waving and basically acting as
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dweeby as their sons looked。 I should know。 My mom took an hour off work to be one of
them。
Tim Pello was basket boy number five; and his mom actually bid on him。 No kidding。 She
jumped up and down; yelling; “Twenty! Ill give you
twenty!” Man; thatll brand you for life。 Lucky for Tim; Kelly Trott came up with twenty…two fifty
and saved his sorry self from everlasting torture as a
mamas boy — one of the few fates worse than basket boy。
Caleb Hughes was up next; and he fetched the Boosters all of eleven fifty。 Then came Chad
Ormonde; who I swear was ready to pee his pants
when Mrs。 McClure made him step forward。 She read his card; pinched his cheeks; and
raked in fifteen even。
At this point what stood between me and the auction block was Jon Trulock。 And I wasnt
exactly interested in what he had in his basket or what
his hobbies and favorite sports were。 I was too busy scanning the crowd for Jumbo Jenny;
sweating my pits off。
Mrs。 McClure calls into the microphone; “Do I hear ten?” and it took me a minute to tune in to
the fact that no one said “Ten!” No one said
anything。 “e on; out there! The lunch is delicious。 Strawberry tarts; um …” And Mrs。
McClure goes back to reading off the three…by…five about