迪文小说

第10部分（第2页）

She　stiffened。　seeing　in　her　mother’s　eyes　a　mocking　pity。　‘I’m　a　woman　grown；’　she　said。

‘I　know　what　I’m　doing。’

‘And　you　going；’　cried　Gabriel；　‘this　morning—just　like　that？　And　you　going　to　walk　offand　leave　your　mother—just　like　that？’

‘You　hush；’　she　said；　turning　to　him　for　the　first　time；　‘she　got　you；　ain’t　she？’

This　was　indeed；　she　realized　as　he　dropped　his　eyes；　the　bitter；　troubling　point。　He　couldnot　endure　the　thought　of　being　left　alone　with　his　mother；　with　nothing　whatever　to　put　betweenhimself　and　his　guilty　love。　With　Florence　gone；　time　would　have　swallowed　up　all　his　mother’schildren；　except　himself；　and　he；　then；　must　make　amends　for　all　the　pain　that　she　had　borne；　andsweeten　her　last　moments　with　all　his　proofs　of　love。　And　his　mother　required　of　him　one　proofonly；　that　he　tarry　no　longer　in　sin。　With　Florence　gone；　his　stammering　time；　his　playing　time；contracted　with　a　bound　to　the　sparest　interrogative　second；　when　he　must　stiffen　himself；　andanswer　to　his　mother；　and　all　the　host　of　Heaven；　yes　or　no。

Florence　smiled　inwardly　a　small；　malicious　smile；　watching　his　slow　bafflement；　andpanic；　and　rage：　and　she　looked　at　her　mother　again。　‘She　got　you；’　she　repeated。　‘She　don’t　needme。’

‘You　going　north；’　her　mother　said；　then。　‘And　when　you　reckon　on　ing　back？’

‘I　don’t　reckon　on　ing　back；’　she　said。

‘You　e　crying　back　soon　enough；’　said　Gabriel；　with　malevolence；　‘soon　as　they　whipyour　butt　up　there　four　or　five　times。’

She　looked　at　him　again。　‘Just　don’t　you　try　to　hold　your　breath　till　then；　you　hear？’

‘Girl；’　said　her　mother；　‘you　mean　to　tell　me　the　Devil’s　done　made　your　heart　so　hard　youcan　just　leave　your　mother　on　her　dying　bed；　and　you　don’t　care　if　you　don’t　never　see　her　in　thisworld　no　more？　Honey；　you　can’t　tell　me　you　done　got　so　evil　as　all　that？’

She　felt　Gabriel　watching　her　to　see　how　she　would　take　this　question—the　question　that；for　all　her　determination；　she　had　dreaded　most　to　hear。　She　looked　away　from　her　mother；　andstraightened；　catching　her　breath；　looking　outwards　through　the　small；　cracked　window。　Thereoutside；　beyond　the　slowly　rising　mist；　and　farther　off　that　her　eyes　could　see；　her　life　awaited　her。

The　woman　on　the　bed　was　old；　her　life　was　fading　as　the　mist　rose。　She　thought　of　her　mother　asalready　in　the　grave；　and　she　would　not　let　herself　be　strangled　by　the　hands　of　the　dead。

‘I’m　going；　Ma；’　she　said。　‘I　got　to　go。’

Her　mother　leaned　back；　face　upward　to　the　light　and　began　to　cry。　Gabriel　moved　toFlorence’s　side　and　grabbed　her　arm。　She　looked　up　into　his　face　and　saw　that　his　eyes　were　full　oftears。

‘You　can’t　go；’　he　said。　‘You　can’t　go。　You　can’t　go　and　leave　your　mother　thisaway。　Sheneed　a　woman；　Florence；　to　help　look　after　her。　What　she　going　to　do　here；　all　alone　with　me？’

She　pushed　him　from　her　and　moved　to　stand　over　her　mother’s　bed。

‘Ma；’　she　said；　‘don’t　be　like　that。　Ain’t　a　thing　can　happen　to　me　up　North　can’t　happen　tome　here。　God’s　everywhere；　Ma。　Ain’t　no　need　to　worry。’

She　knew　that　she　was　mouthing　words；　and　she　realized　suddenly　that　her　mother　scornedto　dignify　these　words　with　her　attention。　She　had　granted　Florence　the　victory—with　apromptness　that　had　the　effect　of　making　Florence；　however　dimly　and　unwillingly；　wonder　if　hervictory　was　real。　She　was　not　weeping　for　her　daughter’s　future；　she　was　weeping　for　the　past；　andweeping　in　an　anguish　in　which　Florence　had　no　part。　And　all　of　this　filled　Florence　with　terriblefear；　which；　which　was　immediately　transformed　into　anger。　‘Gabriel　can　take　care　of　you；’　shesaid；　her　voice　shaking　with　malice。　‘Gabriel　ain’t　never　going　to　leave　you。　Is　you；　boy？’　and　shelooked　at　him。　He　stood；　stupid　with　bewilderment　and　grief；　a　few　inches　from　the　bed。　‘But　me；’

she　said；　‘I　got　to　go。’　She　walked　to　the　center　of　the　room　again；　and　picked　up　her　bag。

‘Girl；’　Gabriel　whispered；　‘ain’t　you　got　feelings　at　all？’

‘Lord！’　her　mother　cried；　and　at　the　sound　her　heart　turned　over；　she　and　Gabriel；　arrested；stared　at　the　bed。　‘Lord；　Lord；　Lord！　Lord；　have　mercy　on　my　sinful　daughter！　Stretch　out　yourhand　and　hold　her　back　from　the　lake　that　burns　forever！　Oh；　my　Lord；　my　Lord！’　and　her　voicedropped；　a