all feel the same way: In one last desperate hope; and without caring how
ic and foolish we might appear; we pray that everything might continue as
it always has。
“Let’s continue to illustrate our book;” I said。 “Let everything continue as it
always has。”
“There’s a murderer among the miniaturists。 I am continuing my work
with Black Effendi。”
Was he provoking me to kill him?
180
“Where is Black now?” I asked。 “Where is your daughter and her children?”
I sensed that some other power had placed these words into my mouth; yet
I couldn’t restrain myself。 There was no longer any way for me to be happy
and hopeful。 I could only be smart and sarcastic。 Behind these two always
entertaining jinns—intelligence and sarcasm—I sensed the presence of the
Devil; who controlled them; overing me。 At the same moment; the
accursed dogs beyond the gate began to howl madly as if they’d tracked the
scent of blood。
Had I lived this exact moment long ago? In a distant city; at a time which
now seemed far from me; as a snow that I couldn’t see fell; by the light of a
candle; I was attempting to explain through tears that I was entirely innocent
to a crotchety old dotard; who’d accused me of stealing paint。 Back then; just
as now; dogs began to howl as if they’d smelled blood。 And I understood from
Enishte Effendi’s great chin; befitting an evil old man; and from his eyes;
which he was finally able to fix mercilessly into mine; that he intended to
crush me。 I recalled this tattered memory from when I was a ten…year…old
miniaturist’s apprentice like a picture whose outlines are clear but whose
colors have faded。 Thus was I living the present as though it were a distinct but
faded memory。
So; as I arose and circled behind Enishte Effendi; lifting that new; huge and
heavy bronze inkpot from among the familiar glass; porcelain and crystal ones
that rested on his worktable; the hardworking miniaturist within me—that
Master Osman had instilled in us all—was illustrating what I did and what I
saw in distinct yet faded colors; not as something I was experiencing now but