“Don’t you tell her so in your letters?”
“Tell me how I might convince her and her father? How might I persuade
them?”
“By being a good person;” I said and walked to the door。
“At this age; it’s too late…” he said with sincere anguish。
“You’ve begun to earn a lot of money; Customs Officer Hasan。 This makes
one a good person…” I said and fled。
The house was so dark and melancholy that the air outside seemed warmer。
The sunlight hit my face。 I wished for Shekure’s happiness。 But I also felt
something for that poor man in that damp; chilly and dark house。 On a whim;
I turned into the Spice Market in Laleli thinking the smells of cinnamon;
saffron and pepper would restore my spirits。 I was mistaken。
At Shekure’s house; after she took up the letters; she immediately asked
after Black。 I told her that the fire of love had mercilessly engulfed his entire
being。 This news pleased her。
94
“Even lonely spinsters busy with their knitting are discussing why Elegant
Effendi might’ve been killed;” I said later; changing the subject。
“Hayriye; make some halva as a present of condolence and take it over to
Kalbiye; poor Elegant Effendi’s widow;” said Shekure。
“All the Erzurumis and quite a crowd of others will be attending his funeral
service;” I said。 “His relatives swear they’ll avenge his spilt blood。”
Shekure had already begun to read Black’s letter。 I looked into her face
intently and angrily。 This woman was probably such a fox that she could
control how her passions were reflected in her face。 As she read I sensed that
my silence pleased her; that she regarded it as my approval of the special
import she gave to Black’s letter。 Shekure finished the letter and smiled at me;
to meet with her satisfaction; I felt forced to ask; “What has he written?”
“Just as in his childhood…He’s in love with me。”
“What are your thoughts?”
“I’m a married woman。 I’m waiting for my husband。”
Contrary to your expectations; the fact that she’d lie to me after asking me
to get involved in her affairs didn’t anger me。 Actually; this ment relieved
me。 If more of the young maidens and women I’ve carried letters for and