no need to name names—who spent his evenings arranging us into various
designs。 I’ve traveled in mahogany skiffs; I’ve visited the Sultan’s palace; I’ve
hidden within Herat…made bindings; in the heels of rose…scented shoes and in
the covers of packsaddles。 I’ve known hundreds of hands: dirty; hairy; plump;
oily; trembling and old。 I’ve been redolent of opium dens; candle…makers’
shops; dried mackerel and the sweat of all of Istanbul。 After experiencing such
excitement and motion; a base thief who had slit his victim’s throat in the
blackness of night and tossed me into his purse; once back in his accursed
house; spat in my face and grunted; “Damn you; it’s all because of you。” I was
so offended; so hurt; that I wanted nothing more than to disappear。
If I didn’t exist; however; no one would be able to distinguish a good artist
from a bad one; and this would lead to chaos among the miniaturists; they’d
all be at each other’s throats。 So I haven’t vanished。 I’ve entered the purse of
the most talented and intelligent of miniaturists and made my way here。
If you think you’re better than Stork; then by all means; get hold of me。
118
I AM CALLED BLACK
I wondered whether Shekure’s father was aware of the letters we exchanged。 If
I were to consider her tone; which bespoke a timid maiden quite afraid of her
father; I’d have to conclude that not a single word about me had passed
between them。 Yet; I sensed that this was not the case。 The slyness in Esther’s
looks; Shekure’s enchanting appearance at the window; the decisiveness with
which my Enishte sent me to his illustrators and his despair when he ordered
me to e this morning—all of it made me quite uneasy。
In the morning; as soon as my Enishte asked me to sit before him; he began
to describe the portraits he saw in Venice。 As the ambassador of Our Sultan;
Refuge of the ber of palazzos; churches and the
houses of prosperous men。 Over a period of days; he stood before thousands
of portraits。 He saw thousands of framed faces depicted on stretched canvas or
wood or painted directly onto walls。 “Each one was different from the next。
They were distinctive; unique human faces!” he said。 He was intoxicated by
their variety; their colors; the pleasantness—even severity—of the soft light
that seemed to fall on them and the meaning emanating from their eyes。
“As if a virulent plague had struck; everyone was having his portrait made;”
he said。 “In all of Venice; rich and influential men wanted their portraits
painted as a symbol; a memento of their lives and a sign of their riches;