“The sole reason for rising prices; plague and military defeat lies in our
forgetting the Islam of the time of our Glorious Prophet and falling sway to
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falsehoods。 Was the Prophet’s birth epic read in memory of the dead back
then? Was the fortieth…day ceremony performed; where sweets like halva and
fried dough are offered to honor the dead? When Muhammad lived; was the
Glorious Koran recited melodically; like a song? Were the prayers called
haughtily and pompously to show how close one’s Arabic was to an Arab’s?
Was there such a thing as reciting the call to prayer coyly; with the flourish of
a man imitating a woman? Today; people plead before gravesites; begging for
amends。 They hope for the intervention of the dead on their behalf。 They visit
the tombs of saints and worship at graves like pagans before pieces of stone。
They tie votive pieces of cloth everywhere; and make promises of sacrifice in
return for atonement。 Were there dervish sectarians who spread such beliefs in
Muhammad’s time? Ibn Arabi; the intellectual mentor of these sectarians;
became a sinner by swearing that the infidel Pharaoh had died a believer。
These dervishes; the Mevlevis; the Halvetis; the Kalenderis and those who sing
the Koran to musical acpaniment or justify dancing with children and
juveniles by saying ”we pray together anyway; why not?“ are all kaffirs。 Dervish
lodges ought to be destroyed; their foundations excavated to a depth of seven
ells and the collected earth cast into the sea。 Only then might ritual prayers be
performed there again。”
I heard tell that this Husret Hoja; taking matters even further; declared with
spittle flying from his mouth; “Ah; my devoted believers! The drinking of
coffee is an absolute sin! Our Glorious Prophet did not partake of coffee
because he knew it dulled the intellect; caused ulcers; hernia and sterility; he
understood that coffee was nothing but the Devil’s ruse。 Coffeehouses are
places where pleasure…seekers and wealthy gadabouts sit knee…to…knee;
involving themselves in all sorts of vulgar behavior; in fact; even before the
dervish houses are closed; coffeehouses ought to be banned。 Do the poor have
enough money to drink coffee? Men frequent these places; bee besotted
with coffee and lose control of their mental faculties to the point that they
actually listen to and believe what dogs and mongrels have to say。 But those
who curse me and our religion; it is they who are the true mongrels。”
With your permission; I’d like to respond to this last ment by the
esteemed cleric。 Of course; it is mon knowledge that hajis; hojas; clerics;
and preachers despise us dogs。 In my opinion; the whole matter concerns our