like me began to spread。 Yet before the advent of Islam; two of the twelve
months of the year were “months of the dog。” Now; however; a dog is
considered a bad omen。 I don’t want to burden you with my own problems;
my dear friends who have e to hear a story and ponder its moral—to be
honest; my anger arises out of the esteemed cleric’s attacks upon our
coffeehouses。
15
What would you think if I said that this Husret of Erzurum was of dubious
birth? But they’ve also said of me; “What kind of dog do you think you are?
You’re attacking the venerable cleric because your master is a picture…hanging
storyteller who tells tales at a coffeehouse and you want to protect him。 Go
on; scat!” God forbid; I’m not denigrating anyone。 But I’m a great admirer of
our coffeehouses。 You know; I have no problem with the fact that my portrait
was drawn on such cheap paper or that I’m a four…legged beast; but I do regret
that I can’t sit down like a man and have a cup of coffee with you。 We’d die
for our coffee and our coffeehouses—what’s this? See; my master is pouring
coffee for me from a small coffeepot。 A picture can’t drink coffee; you say?
Please! See for yourselves; this dog is happily lapping away。
Ah; yes; that hit the spot; it’s warmed me up; sharpened my sight and
quickened my thoughts。 Now listen to what I have to tell you: Besides bolts of
Chinese silks and Chinese pottery adorned with blue flowers; what did the
Veian Doge send to Nurhayat Sultan; the esteemed daughter of our
respected Sultan? A soft and cuddly Veian she…dog with a coat of silk and
sable。 I heard that this bitch is so spoiled she has a red silk dress as well。 One of
our friends actually fucked her; that’s how I know; and she can’t even engage
in the act without her dress。 In that Frankish land of hers; all dogs wear outfits
like that anyway。 I’ve heard tell that over there a so…called elegant and well…
bred Veian woman saw a naked dog—or maybe she saw its thing; I’m not
sure—anyway; she screamed; “My dear God; the dog is naked!” and fainted
dead away。
In the lands of the infidel Franks; the so…called Europeans; every dog has an
owner。 These poor animals are paraded on the streets with chains around their
necks; they’re fettered like the most miserable of slaves and dragged around in
isolation。 These Franks force the poor beasts into their homes and even into
their beds。 Dogs aren’t permitted to walk with one another; let alone sniff and
frolic together。 In that despicable state; in chains; they can do nothing but gaze
forlornly at each other from a distance when they pass on t