“Will you be able to walk back to our house?” I said。 “Shall we have them
bring a horse for you?”
438
I sensed that he would die upon arriving home and I pitied him。 Not
because he would die alone; but because he’d never known any true
happiness。 I could see from the sorrow and determination in his eyes that he
wished not to be in this strange house; and that he actually wanted to
disappear without being seen by anybody in this horrible state。 With some
difficulty; they mounted him on a horse。
During our trip back; as we passed through side streets clinging to our
bundles; the children were at first too frightened to look Black in the face。 But
from astride the slowly ambling horse; Black was still able to describe how he
foiled the schemes of the wretched murderer who’d killed their grandfather
and how he challenged him to a sword fight。 I could see that the children had
warmed up to him somewhat; and I prayed to Allah: Please; don’t let him die!
When we reached the house; Orhan shouted; “We’re home!” with such joy
I had the intuition that Azrael; the Angel of Death; pitied us and Allah would
grant Black more time。 But I knew from experience that one could never tell
when exalted Allah would take one’s soul; and I wasn’t overly hopeful。
We helped Black down from the horse。 We brought him upstairs; and
settled him into the bed in my father’s room; the one with the blue door。
Hayriye boiled water and brought it upstairs。 Hayriye and I undressed him;
tearing his clothes and cutting them with scissors; removing the bloodied shirt
stuck to his flesh; his sash; his shoes and his underclothes。 When we opened
the shutters; the soft winter sunlight playing on the branches in the garden
filled the room; reflected off the ewers; pots; glue boxes; inkwells; pieces of
glass and penknives; and illuminated Black’s deathly pale skin; and his flesh…
and sour…cherry…colored wounds。
I soaked pieces of bedding in hot water and rubbed them with soap。 Then I
wiped clean Black’s body; carefully as though cleaning a valuable antique
carpet; and affectionately and eagerly as though caring for one of my boys。
Without pressing on the bruises that covered his face; without jarring the cut
in his nostril; I cleansed the horrible wound on his shoulder as a doctor might。