who’ll be blamed。
How might I convince you that I don’t take all of this to heart? Naturally;
by standing firmly on my own two feet despite centuries of merciless stonings;
curses; damnings and denouncements。 If only my angry and shallow enemies;
who never tire of condemning me; would remember that it was the Almighty
Himself who granted me life until Judgment Day; while allotting them no
more than sixty or seventy years。 If I were to advise them that they could
extend this period by drinking coffee; I knoe; because it
was Satan speaking; would do the exact opposite and refuse coffee entirely; or
worse yet; stand on their heads and try pouring it into their asses。
Don’t laugh。 It’s not the content; but the form of thought that counts。 It’s
not what a miniaturist paints; but his style。 Yet these things should be subtle。 I
was going to conclude with a love story; but it’s gotten quite late。 The honey…
tongued master storyteller who’s given me voice tonight promises to tell this
story of love when he hangs up the picture of a woman the day after
tomorrow; on Wednesday night。
316
I; SHEKURE
I dreamed that my father was telling me inprehensible things; and it was
so terrifying that I woke up。 Shevket and Orhan were clinging tightly to me on
either side; and their warmth made me sweat。 Shevket had his hand on my
stomach。 Orhan was resting his sweaty head on my bosom。 Somehow; I was
able to get out of bed and leave the room without waking them。
I crossed the wide hallway and silently opened Black’s door。 In the light cast
by my candle; I couldn’t see him; only the edge of his white mattress which lay
like a shrouded body in the middle of the dark; cold room。 The candlelight
seemed unable to reach the mattress。
When I brought my hand even closer; the reddish…orange light of the candle
struck Black’s weary; unshaven face and naked shoulders。 I drew near to him。
Just as Orhan did; he slept curled up like a pill bug; and he wore the expression
of a sleeping maiden。
“This is my husband;” I said to myself。 He seemed so distant; so much a
stranger; that I was filled with sorrow。 If I’d had a dagger with me; I would’ve
murdered him—no; I didn’t actually want to do such a thing; I was only
wondering; the way children do; how it’d be if I killed him。 I didn’t believe
he’d lived for years throug