bowl; when a Frank traveler; a strange man; stopped us; gave us each a silver
Veian coin and began to draw our picture。
He was a Frank; of course; he was weird。 He situated us right in the center
of the page as if we were the very tent of the Sultan; and was depicting us in
our half…naked state when I shared with my panion a thought that had
just then dawned upon me: To appear like a pair of truly impoverished
Kalenderi beggar dervishes; we should roll our eyes back so our pupils look
inward; the whites of our eyes facing the world like blind men—and that’s
exactly what we proceeded to do。 In this situation; it’s the nature of a dervish
to behold the world in his head rather than the world outside; since our heads
were full of hashish; the landscape of our minds was more pleasant than what
the Frank painter saw。
333
Meanwhile; the scene outside had grown even worse; we heard the ranting
of a Hoja Effendi。
Pray; let us not give the wrong idea。 We’ve now made mention of the
respected “Hoja Effendi;” but last week in this fine coffeehouse there was a
great misunderstanding: This respected “Hoja Effendi” of whom we speak has
nothing whatsoever to do with His Excellency Nusret Hoja the cleric from
Erzurum; nor with the bastard Husret Hoja; nor with the hoja from Sivas who
made it with the Devil atop a tree。 Those who interpret everything negatively
have said that if His Excellency Hoja Effendi bees a target of reproach here
once again; they’ll cut out the storyteller’s tongue and lower this coffeehouse
about his head。
One hundred and twenty years ago; there being no coffee then; the
respected Hoja; whose story we’ve begun; was simply steaming with rage。
“Hey; Frank infidel; why are you drawing these two?” he was saying。 “These
wretched Kalenderi dervishes wander around thieving and begging; they take
hashish; drink wine; bugger each other; and as is evident from the way they
look; know nothing of performing or reciting prayers; nothing of house; or
home; or family; they’re nothing but the dregs of this good world of ours。 And
you; why are you painting this picture of disgrace when there’s so much
beauty in this great country? Is it to disgrace us?”
“Not at all; it’s simply because illustrations of your bad side bring in more
money;” said the infidel。 We two dervishes were dumbfounded at the
soundness of the painter’s reasoning。
“If it brought you more money; would you paint the Devil in a favorable
light?” the Hoja Effendi said; coyly trying to