“I remember my father;” said Shevket。
“Hush…and listen;” I said。 “From now on Black’s word carries more weight
than even my own。” I faced Black。 “If they refuse to listen to you; if they are
disobedient or show even the slightest sign of being rude; spoiled or ill…
mannered; first warn them; but forgive them;” I said; forgoing the mention of
beatings that was on the tip of my tongue。 “Whatever space I occupy in your
heart; they shall share that space; too。”
“I didn’t marry you solely to be your husband;” said Black; “but also to be
father to these dear boys。”
“Did you two hear that?”
“Oh my Lord; I pray you never neglect to shine your light down upon us;”
Hayriye interjected from a corner。 “My dear God; I pray you protect us; my
Lord。”
225
“You two did hear; didn’t you?” I said。 “Good for you; my pretty young
men。 Since your father loves you like this; should you suddenly lose control
and disregard his words; he will have forgiven you for it beforehand。”
“And I’ll forgive them afterward; as well;” said Black。
“However; if you two defy his warning a third time…then; you’ll have
earned the right to a beating;” I said。 “Are we understood? Your new father;
Black; has e here from the vilest; the worst of battles; from wars that were
the very wrath of God and from which your late father did not return; yes;
he’s a hardened man。 Your grandfather has spoiled you and indulged you。 Your
grandfather is now very ill。”
“I want to go and be with him;” Shevket said。
“If you’re not going to listen; Black will teach you what it means to get a
beating from Hell。 Your grandfather won’t be able to save you from Black the
way he used to protect you from me。 If you don’t want to suffer your father’s
wrath; you’re not to fight anymore; you’re to share everything; tell no lies;
perform your prayers; not go to bed before memorizing your lessons and
you’re not to speak roughly to Hayriye or tease her…Are we understood?”
In one movement; Black crouched down and took Orhan up in his arms。
Shevket kept his distance。 I had the fleeting urge to embrace him and weep。
My poor forlorn and fatherless son; my poor solitary Shevket; you’re so alone
in this immense world。 I thought of myself as a small child; like Shevket; a
child all alone in the world; and remembered how once I’d been held in my
dear father’s arms the way Orhan was now being held by Black。 But unlike
Orhan; I wasn’t awkward in my father’s embrace; like a fruit unaccustomed to
its tree。 I was delighte